Monday, February 22, 2016

All the king's horses do the Humpty Hump!

 Another year between posts. Still no apologies. Especially for this gap. I had shit to do. (Read: Jurassic World. The Force Awakens. Deadpool). Is that enough small talk? Cool. Let's get to the business end of this post because that's frankly why we are both here.

I'm just going to assume that all of my maladjusted readers are familiar with Humpty Dumpty. It's a pretty standard nursery rhyme (standard being messed up & rhyme-y) but have you ever really thought about it? Just why is Humpty Dumpty usually portrayed as an anthropomorphic egg? Nothing in the rhyme itself mentions it. I think if you were telling a story about some guy trolling on a wall and that guy just happened to be a giant Egg-man that you might want to add that part in. I would say that's a pretty big detail.

Maybe Mr. Dumpty is depicted as an egg because the more realistic version (drunk regular dude acting a fool on the king's wall) would be a little too sad for a nursery rhyme. No wait. The more I know about the origins of nursery rhymes the more I know how messed up they are. Maybe Humpty 'Drunky' Dumpty wouldn't be sad enough unless he's also a freak of nature banished to the wall and drowning his sorrows in booze.

Most importantly: why did the all the king's horses and all the king's men try to fix Humpty up? WTF King!?! Send all of your fucking doctors or wizards!

Also,why is this Humpty wearing pants but no shoes?

I had an idea of the text of this mod immediately. Especially given Humpty's gangster wave.

It was truly a struggle to choose just one line from Digital Underground's classic. With lyrics like: "But sometimes I get ridiculous. I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice" and "Samoans do the Humpty Hump" how do you pick?

I know what you're thinking. "MO, why didn't you add the 24 kt gold finish charms?!? Wouldn't Humpty look extra dope with gold finish buttons?" We both know the answer. Laziness.

Fun Fact: The Humpty Dance came out in 1990. This kit was dated 1991. Did the song inspire this sweet kit at all?  Probably not. Just wanted to remind us both how fucking old we are.

I've got a really great project on deck. So be sure to check back in soon!*

*let's be honest. It'll be a while.